They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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