K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
