she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
this is an emotional support booty call
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Couch. On fire.
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