i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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