toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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