If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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