i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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