So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
