Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
