I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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