We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
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He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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