the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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