I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
