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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.

  Fav 53 4009 1172

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  How come I never meet celebrities?

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.

  Fav 22 1185 5863

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You live a charmed life.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone

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• (716): View more from New York

  oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear

  (1-716): View more from New York

  The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Naked.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.

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