Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa

(860): View more from Connecticut

oh sweet, sweet irony

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.

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(510): View more from California

I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks

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(917): View more from New York City

I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.

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(425): View more from Washington

I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.

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(914): View more from New York

Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".

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