No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
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The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects