I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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