but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
