my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
