You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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