i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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