I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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