So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
