Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize