Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
