I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad