I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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