then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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