we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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