addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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