I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Michael Bay diarrhea
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
