That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
