Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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