He uses pillows to masturbate.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
