So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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