she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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