I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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