My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
