yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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