Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize