We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
