I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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