I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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