Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize