Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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