I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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