Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
