so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
