The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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