I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize