Buhtt sex?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
