my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
