What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
