Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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