Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
