I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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