That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
