Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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