We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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