My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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