The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
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You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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