Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
