What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
