Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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