so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
