this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize